1. Weeknight dates are out of the question.
2. And you’re probably not going to get them to stay up past 10pm.
3. Because they have to be up seriously early for school the next day.
Probably a good two hours before you.
4. So their idea of a lie-in is sleeping till 7am on the weekends.
5. Most of your Friday night dates probably involve getting pizza and them doing marking while falling asleep in front of the TV.
6. So you really look forward to the school holidays.
They can drink on weeknights! Woo!
7. But you can only go on holiday during the school break, so you’re pretty used to paying expensive airfares.
8. And there are kids everywhere all of the time.
9. But the best time of year is Christmas because they’re going to get a shitload of chocolates.
10. Or free booze if they’re really lucky.
11. You’re pretty used to getting colds all the time.
Children seem to harbour colds CONSTANTLY.
12. And ~other~ childhood illnesses.
Better make sure you’re up to date on your vaccines.
13. They might accidentally use their teacher voice on you occasionally.
Hopefully not during sex…
14. It’s not unusual for them to come home covered in paint and glitter.
If they teach five year olds.
15. And they seem to carry tonnes of bags of paper and books around all the time.
16. Your house probably looks like this.
17. And they get very excited about new stationery.
18. There is nothing better than teacher gossip.
So you can’t wait to hear about it when they come home from work.
19. And you’re probably really invested in some of it, even if you’ve never met the kids.
“Can’t BELIEVE Bradley was messing around in English again. I knew this would happen.”
20. But there is nothing more entertaining than a student giving a funny test answer.
21. You know there is no greater stress than end of term exam season.
It’s as bad for teachers as it is for students.
22. Because they work way longer hours than most people expect.
School doesn’t just finish at 3pm.
23. And they work harder than anyone you know.